I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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