You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
