That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
