My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize