Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I just want to make out with him forever
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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