I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
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