Whod you bang
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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