OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Randomize