guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
