So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
