How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
