using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
