You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
