Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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