i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Randomize
