I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
