dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Randomize
