I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
he shaved USA in his pubs
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
