I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
