he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
There r osticjed everywhere
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
