Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
sex in a hospital.. check
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
