The maid of honor just puked.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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