thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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