Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
