Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
