so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
dude. I can hear the air.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize