I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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