im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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