A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
