I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I think a kid would responsible me up
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
