Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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