Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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