i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize