she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
