when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
