ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
