I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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