It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Randomize
