Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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