apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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