it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I touched a dick in church today
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