i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
