I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
