Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
