we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
