I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Randomize
