i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
