The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
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