I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Pants are for mortals
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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