I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
