I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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