He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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