What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
