I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
