When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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