just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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