Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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